Mission statement: “I am created to praise, love, and serve God.” Disordered loves and preoccupations clutter our lives. The grace we seek is indifference.
Prayer for the week: “I pray for the following graces: a deepening awareness of my fundamental vocation to praise, love, and serve God and others, a desire for greater indifference in my life; a willingness to embrace who I am before our loving God.”
It is against my nature, against man’s nature, to desire a greater indifference in our lives. I am goal directed, even in spiritual pursuit, I am goal directed with an individual will to achieve. Achievement is measured by attachments, sense of belonging, and yes, desires of the heart.
The grace I pray for is the grace of acceptance. The acceptance of my temporal existence in the flesh, of my lack of certainty of everlasting life in the spirit, my frailties and over attachment to things not worthy of such adoration, my clinging to sensations of the five senses that cloud achieving true openness to the divine.
I am here writing, seeking, with a lived experience of successes and failures in everyday life. They serve as an aide and a hinderance to this pursuit. I overvalue my own importance (whether narcissistic pride in accomplishments or grand martyrdom in failure) when reflecting on the past and overshadow my future with anxiety on where to go from here.
A willingness to embrace who I am before our loving God and accept divine providence and present moment, accept forgiveness and embrace, and seek discernment of God’s will going forward, leaving anxiety in the ashes of prayer will allow me to praise, love, and serve God.
My work is my vocation of serving God. My family is my vocation of serving God. My writing helps me examine my thoughts and attentions. My reading keeps me humbled and striving. Religious people, mass, Holy Communion, Pope Francis, and the mysteries of grace help me. Concretely, the things I can do daily is read scripture, pray, journal, and try to see the image of God within everyone I interact with, especially those who engender my worst cynicism and nature.
Other readings: Book of Genesis: Jacob and man/demon fight all night: Turns out to be God he wrestled with all night. In day he gets God’s blessing and a new name…Israel. He saw the face of God and lived. Have you ever wrestled with God? Today’s refection speaks about the humility and blessings of wrestling with one’s vocational discernment. Gn: 32: 23-33. MT 9:32-38.