Radical Transformation: Part IV

Dietrich Von Hildebrand: Transformation in Christ (Chapter 8)

On “Confidence in God”

Many Christians have been waiting for the second coming of Jesus Christ.  It has been over two thousand years since he walked, preached, died and was resurrected.  Our Jewish cousins have been waiting perhaps as much a four thousand years for the first coming.  Jesus did not pass their mustard test of divinity.  Christians utilize prophesies in the Old Testament as predictions that Jesus fulfilled the first prediction.[i]  Regardless of this seismic division we still share a Messianic faith: 

The term “Messianic prophecy” refers to a compilation of over one hundred predictions (conservative estimate) in the Old Testament regarding the Messiah. They have undeniable accuracy even though these prophecies were recorded by numerous writers into various books over 1000 years. We are assured that these prophecies were not conspired after the fact due to the Dead Sea Scrolls and Septuagint. These items are existed prior to Jesus’ time on earth.[ii]

The idea of “Confidence in God” given our shared four thousand year period of “waiting for God” and our collective confusion and divergent interpretations of historical events, scripture, prophets, and the understanding of the historical life of Jesus Christ is intellectually mind-boggling.  It is in this context I am hesitant to write about “Confidence in God.”

With genuine humility and intellectual honesty I can assuredly say I cannot define a personal path for anyone to come to believe and share my faith and confidence in God.  My own faith I judge to be far too fragile and temperamental.   

I can however provide testament to having common concerns and doubts about God with my fellow man that have run deep in my life and come out of the darkness with a greater faith after many trials and divergent paths.  Challenges afforded to me have included philosophical existentialism, unexpected losses of family members, experience with personal failures and traumatic situations, a deep seated wrestling with the meaning and nature of suffering, criticisms of our religious institutions practices and beliefs (past and present), alternative explanations for spiritual experiences, psychological principles of individual development and sociological explanations for religiosity,  and personal “isms” of a less lofty nature. 

How can we ask anyone to have faith in God when facing a four thousand year waiting period for a messianic coming that we cannot define with any certainty while living in a secular world driven by temporal and material goals (ranging from basic survival to unimaginable wealth)? I cannot ask you to have faith.  I can share mine.  I cannot even give faith away.  It is not mine to give.  My journey is not even my own. 


I have an oar.  It is a very small oar.  All I can do is row and aim for the greater good.   I do not know what rivers I will face, what rapids lay ahead, or when my boat will rest on calm waters.  Sometimes I will have other rowers by my side and sometimes I will be utterly alone.  God is always there but sometimes in my fear or in my self-possession I will not see him or be aware of his presence.   In the poem below it is easy to forget the line “I thank whatever God’s maybe for my unconquerable soul.” Invictus[iii]   

And yet I am writing about “Confidence in God” for myself and I hope for you the reader.  Faith, like sports, is a full contact activity.  It requires participation, determination, and perseverance. It also requires transcendence past human abilities.  That is where “Confidence in God” comes into play.

I am still daunted by this release of myself into his hands without trembling.  The willingness to accept the consequences and responsibilities of a true and on-going transformation in Christ and Confidence is beyond my spiritual imagination.  Like my middle name, I still have bouts of doubt that arise at the most unfortunate times. I do not have the luxury presented to doubting Thomas:


The apostles who lived with and followed Jesus Christ struggled to believe in the entirety of Christ message.   How can we be expected to claim that faith any better than those who lived by his side?

I believe there is an answer here to part of the mystery of Jesus Christ death and resurrection.  We are called to be active and open to a spiritual life, open to living a spiritual life guided by the Holy Spirit and his teachings, and to do so without his physical presence and performance of miracles in our presence. 

I cannot define the messianic second coming.  I cannot defend if Jesus Christ should or ought to be accepted by the Jews as the first Messiah.  I cannot debate if we are living in the Messianic period or are still waiting for the Messianic period.  These are theological concepts beyond my pay grade!  However through my Catholic faith I am taught the following:  

In him human history and indeed all creation are “set forth” and transcendentally fulfilled.551”[iv]  

I am not to wait for the second coming.  I am to live a spiritual life now, every day, every moment and to strive, within the limits of my humanity, for “spiritual perfection.”

Dietrich presupposes you have bludgeoned these obstacles and are reading his work and searching and deepening your faith.  He delves right into God being omnipotent, omniscient, truly merciful, and a personal loving God.    Perhaps your head is nodding and you are saying “Ah yes, Dietrich I readily agree that God is all powerful, ever present, and that through our prayer the Eucharist, and our church that we have a personal relationship with God.  Dietrich you are the master of the obvious!”  Dietrich answers your thoughts with a warning about some of us who may fall into never being “roused into a full awareness of man’s metaphysical situation” and being truly cognizant of being in God’s hands (which can evoke appropriate awe, fear and trepidation):

“This pitfall of a comfortable smugness masquerading as religiosity we must studiously avoid; in full awareness of the gravity of our metaphysical situation, in penitent humility we must lift our eyes to God, and in constant effort work for our sanctification.  At the same time, we must bear in mind that it is not on the basis of our nature but through Christ and in Christ alone that a real victory over our sinfulness can be obtained.”   

Dietrich after throwing the above punch, recognizing our human limitations, jumps into God’s infinite love and mercy for each of us and then takes on the intrinsically sad things and intrinsically bad things (evil) and how we are to understand them and come to terms with feelings of being abandoned by God.  

It is dizzying to recognize that in a moment of prayer I am connected to the sins of humanity past and present and to the healing and saving grace of God.    It is overpowering to consider my part or lack thereof in righting the wrongs of today (poverty, injustice, violence, abuse, murder).  My prayers for the many suffering and for cessation of the countless evils being perpetrated are somehow seemingly irrelevant in the vast tide of human misery.    

Dietrich acknowledges the “impenetrable mystery of why God permits such a passing trial of evil at all.”    How many times have we heard or asked ourselves – God, how can you let this happen?  Or as it is said in the bible: 

my god

“And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46, KJV). 

Jesus was not accepted by the Jews as the true Messiah as they expected the Messiah to be a new King to restore the Jews as a nation (among other reasons).  There was an expectation of immediacy.  Jesus Christ was not the Messiah the Jews expected.  Not even the apostles were prepared for his death or resurrection.  Jesus Christ perhaps modeled a response for on accepting suffering: 

“My father, if it is possible, let this chalice pass from me, Nevertheless, not as I will but as Thou wilt.”  (Matt. 26:39)

There is a teaching here for our prayer.  We can pray out loud to the father and call him by name. We can ask for what we want in our hearts (even though we know he knows our intentions and desires already).  And we can reaffirm our desire is to do or accept God’s will, not our own will.       

Dietrich presents a compelling case for accepting suffering while maintaining confidence in God’s design no matter how incomprehensible the situation is or how reprehensible our actions have been in the past.   Our confidence must also be free of false expectations for repairing harms we have done to ourselves, providing us what we ask for when we want it, or even providing us an “enlivening touch of his grace.”  On this point I am spiritually impoverished.  I pray that I am not tested by long periods of spiritual dryness.  I beg for on-going support and revelation.  I announce my weakness and frailty at every opportunity in this regard. 

Like Thomas, I fear the loss of grace.  I fear the dark night of loss of faith.  I cannot imagine the trials and tribulations of the martyrs and saints that have went days, weeks, months, and even years without spiritual consolation. 

There is an absurdity here.  Who am I to demand spiritual consolation at all?  Who am I to take myself so seriously?     

I am a doubting Thomas – a man who believes in God but who is struck by fear and doubt.  In a moment of agony or pain I can easily forget the many graces I have received, demonstrate a lack gratitude for all that I have been given, and have a penchant (or petulance) for anger when disillusioned by a negative outcome that I perceived as not aligned with my manifest destiny.  In essence when life is going my way God is great – but let the boat rock a little and desperation can evaporate my sense of grounding and confidence.  This is not confidence in God.   Confidence in God is constant no matter what our circumstances are – no matter how dire our situation. 

When Jesus was resurrected he left us with a calling card:    

“What Jesus longs for in this post-resurrection encounter with Thomas is that we all might believe in him by handing over our hearts and our hopes that he might bring them to the fullness of joy.”[v]

Poor Thomas today still takes a chiding for what was only a natural skepticism.   If not for his skepticism how could we be taught to manage our own?    Sometimes it is simply better to just move on and take formative action or if I may say – trans-formative radical action.  Be confident in God and active in your journey no matter what your circumstance today.  


[i] http://www.clarifyingchristianity.com/m_prophecies.shtml

[ii] https://www.messianic-prophecy.net/

[iii] https://www.pinterest.com/pin/121949102384989926/

[iv] http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p1s2c2a7.htm

[v] https://www.christiancentury.org/blogs/archive/2013-04/doubting-thomas-didnt-doubt


Radical Transformation: Part III

Transformation in Christ by Dietrich Von Hildebrand:


On Humility (Chapter 3: 149 – 188):

Take a few minutes and consider your personal reaction to the word Humility or Humble.  In American culture it can be seen as a great asset or great weakness.  It is context dependent.  The American Psychological Association[i] and Forbes[ii] business magazine see great utility in the trait of humility.  It is perhaps the antithetical to seek to be humble for personal gain – gain which is often aimed at material wealth or increased social status – but nonetheless even if starting out with an end goal that is perhaps not so humble – there is intrinsic value in being humble.  If you are interested in personal growth for personal gain stop reading here and visit the web links at the end of the article.

If you are interested in Humility as an aspect of your spiritual journey or development Dietrich Von Hildebrand’s chapter on Humility can humble your self-assessment of your possession of humility. On a 9 by 5 inch canvas each page is a round of jabs, hooks, and revelation.  At least in sixteen feet by twenty feet canvas you have a referee to stop the fight, a corner crew to tend to your wounds, and an end in sight – win or lose.  Humility on a theological plane has no end – it is a way of being that continues to deepen and expand.

Round 1:  Dietrich opens up with a series of body blows aimed at Pride.    The early round body blows are aimed at all efforts for at the “glorification of self” by seeking superiority, power, and wealth as an end in and of themselves to promote our own ego.

Round 2:   Mixing it up with taunts and occasional jabs he describes “Satanic Pride’s” ability to isolate and divide us from each other and from our God. In our perverted sense of our own free will we are given license to use our God-given talents for an “orgy of self-glorification and nourishment.”

Round 3:  Now isolated from each other and our God, we dig in and fight on acquiring vestiges of success wherever we can.  They become the measure of our worth and of the worth of others.

Round 4:  Wounding our sense of identity in worldly possessions and achievements he deftly seizes on refusal to truly have a sense of obedience to God, to accept help from others, and to be open to the sovereignty of God.

Round 5:  We are feeling creaturely now, human.  Revelation, if it has not come by this point, will not come at all by this book.  My awareness of my creaturely being relative to the divine is all too apparent.

Round 6:  Off the pages.  Where is pride negative in my life?  Without getting too much into the weeds of the “I” let me propose practicing humility is a form of spiritual healing.  If we truly believe in a personal God, in a higher power and ultimate creator, than any sense of pride is misplaced.  All belongs to our creator.  But let’s step it down a few planes to the depths of everyday human life.  How many anxieties and fears do we hold every day? What are they connected to and are they manifested?  It is 4:45 a.m.  I am fearful of certain work pressures.  I am fearful for the health, safety, and well-being of my family.  I am at times overly self-conscious of my presentation.  If I allow myself too much worry, I can fall into worrying about the abyss of missed opportunities of the past and potential challenges of the future (of which I can have no influence on today).  In a sense I can fall into a trap of having “false pride” that I alone can control my destiny and should have controlled my past in all things (controllable and uncontrollable) within the realm of my God given ability and limits.  Portraying a sense of confidence of mastery (false pride) over things that I aptly cannot control or worse yet have falsely presented as something I possess – will leave me in a state of fear and angst of discovery of my true ineptitude.  I am unworthy of what I have today.   Have you ever felt that way?  If I am afraid and fearful (without an unusual event being present like say an armed thief, as opposed to an unarmed thief where my insane pride thinks I can handle myself just fine) why is that so if I am truly humble, trusting in God, and not overly attached to any sense of material wealth, social status, or sense of my own importance?

Round 7:   Each of us has different situations and deficits when it comes to Pride and other barriers to true humility.  Dietrich explores these dimensions of barriers to humility, both grand and miniscule hindrances’ that creep into our lives.  The barrage of punches, revelations, and humorous depictions of the human condition blur into one elongated round of timeless confrontation with God.  Right hook to the jaw and down to the canvas for an 8 count:

“Against the background of what he has received from God, in the light of the gratuitous gifts of God and the high call addressed to him, he comes to understand that he is nothing by his own force, that he has made inadequate use of the natural endowments as well as of the supernatural gifts of grace he owes to God, that he is an unprofitable servant.”

Round 8:  Many of us have been on a conscious spiritual journey on and off our entire lives.  We may have perfected certain aspects of humility along the way and may not be so inclined to take a left hook to the jaw by an author questioning our humility.  There are many pitfalls even for the devout religious:

“The reason is, first, that humility implies our consciousness of our own frailty and of the constant danger of sin.  No one is truly humble unless he is imbued with the sense of the permanent menace which pride represents to fallen man.”

Round 9-11:  The application of humility and how we treat others versus how we treat ourselves is delved into here with equal cleverness as the preceding rounds.  You cannot read this without reconsidering the folly of self-appraisal.  Seeking humility is not yet another personal gain or spiritual accomplishment.  Reflecting on your own spiritual wealth is to diminish your wealth simultaneously. We reflect on our faults and sins to seek being closer to God.   For others we seek the face and glory of God as evidenced in their positive attributes.  We do not judge and assume we are worse off than most, except for perhaps by the grace and mercy of God.

Round 12:  Why bother? I am content the way I am.  On the canvas looking up at the majestic sky:

“For it is only the humble soul, the soul that has emptied itself, which can be fully penetrated by the divine Life it has received in holy Baptism: and it is upon such a soul that there falls a reflection of the greatness and infinitude of God.”

To be honest, I did not know Dietrich Von Hildebrand’s pedigree[iii] before I embarked on reading this book.  Accidentally he has joined the ranks of Dietrich Bonhoeffer as one of my favorite writers and I am only a third of the way through this book.  Unlike Bonhoeffer, Hildebrand was Catholic though I do not hold that against Bonhoeffer. Both were German and heavily influenced by the evil era of Hitler’s Germany.  One fled and lived.  One returned to Germany and died a martyr’s death. He was a convert to Christianity.  Sometimes converts make better Catholics!  There are many famous theologians who were converts.[iv]

It is interesting to keep in mind the riches of the natural world and the literary world as resources for re-affirming our faith.  At the end of the day though we must be careful to ensure our mind and soul remains grounded and in concert with our held beliefs.

For Catholics it is the written word of the bible, the mass, the Eucharist and the rich tradition of the Catholic Church.  It is also recognizing the errors of the Catholic Church and avoiding false pride, grandiosity, judging others, and risk associated with organized religion being corrupted by man’s errors.

Whether you are Catholic or not, take time now:


I have come to believe that heaven is here on earth when we choose to be envoys of God, to live in Christ image, to the best of our ability.  In essence God was roused two thousand years ago and sent his only son.  We only need to be still awhile and be open to the word and presence of God.

Even Jesus went into the desert for forty-days before his formal ministry (today’s Gospel: Mark 1. 12-15)[v].  Where is your desert for sacred reflection and prayer?   Where is your dark night for confrontation with God?  With Satan?   These are lofty ideas defying the simplicity of humility and prayer.  Take care of these and you will be prepared for any dark nights.

Please share with family or friends during this Lenten season.  Now is a perfect time for spiritual renewal!


[i] https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/17/benefits-of-humility_n_5578881.html

[ii] https://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffboss/2015/03/01/13-habits-of-humble-people/#6916aa4649d5

[iii] https://www.catholiceducation.org/en/religion-and-philosophy/philosophy/the-forgotten-voice-of-dietrich-von-hildebrand.html

[iv] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_converts_to_the_Catholic_Church

[v] GospelMK 1:12-15


Rest in Peace? – January 18, 2018

It is only January 16th today.  Anthony Shore has been convicted of 5 heinous crimes (rape and murder) of young girls between the ages of 9 and 21.  His conviction was November 15, 2004 some nine years after his last known victim.  He is scheduled to be executed in Texas on Thursday, January 18, 2018 at 6 P.M.[i]   He himself has asked for the death penalty and has a history of abusing his second wife’s children as well.[ii]   Although he has a family and children – no one is going to his execution.

The Catholic Church’s teaching as of today does not absolutely rule out the death penalty – though Pope Francis has stated that “It is necessary therefore to restate that, however grave the crime that may be committed, the death penalty is inadmissible because it attacks the inviolability and the dignity of the person.”[iii]

Now imagine the great state of Texas has a conflict of interest and the court appoints you to fly in and fill one of the following roles:

  • Confessor and consoler: you are provided the authority by your church and by the legal system to spend several hours with Anthony to console, to listen to his evil deeds, and if he is genuinely penitent provide confession so God may show him mercy.
  • Executioner: Without guidance or counsel you alone will be the hand that pushes the needle or pulls the lever that brings death to Anthony.  At 6 P.M. you alone can perform the execution or you can dictate life in prison.  Your decision will be final either way.


What role would you choose?  What would you do?

And if not the executioner, how do you answer the question from Anthony – what do you want the executioner to choose on Thursday?  And if you avoided the executioner role on spiritual grounds are you guilty nonetheless in that you had the power to take that role and dictate life in prison?  Or responsible to the victims and their families for not taking on the task of executioner and leaving it to chance of another person – perhaps not as inclined to take a life?

As consoler, can you genuinely find it in yourself to practice the mercy and love of Jesus Christ towards this vile human being who himself as requested the death penalty?

This is a very straight forward case of the highest degree.  There is no legal ambiguity by man’s laws or standards.  Race or IQ is not an issue.  No claim of insanity has been made.

Whatever role you chose you would have to, if you are a person of faith, consider the victims and their families as well.    Perhaps on your knees you may pray:

“O God, we pray for those who have been murdered on the streets of our city. We commit to your loving care those who have died, beseeching you to receive their souls into the mercy of your love. Comfort their loved ones who mourn. Enable them to meet the lonely and painful days ahead in the strength of your love. Let the love that you have made known to us lead us to create safer streets for all to walk upon. Amen.”[iv]

If you are a heroic prayer, you may even find the strength and inspiration to pray for Anthony, for the Anthony underneath the layers of evil and sin, for the innocent Anthony before his heart and actions became corrupted and gave way to horrible actions.

If you are a saint, you would be able to pray to God and provide consolation and healing to all involved, to find meaning in suffering, and to shoulder the immensity of pain, anger and rage  that these crimes evoke from our most primal instincts. You would act decisively and perhaps unexpectedly in a manner that leaves everyone speechless and changed forever.

Anthony will be executed in three days.    I am against the death penalty based on moral and political grounds given the frailty of our legal system to get it right.[v]  1032 people were executed on 2016 excluding China where it is believed thousands are executed every year.[vi]  Many of these executions are not for the serious crimes committed by Anthony or possess the legal due process and certainty of this case.  Egypt was recently in the news for a growing rate of systematic use of the death penalty and achieving the dubious claim in the New York Times of having “Execution Tuesdays.”

My opposition is not as high as that of Pope Francis that is opposed regardless of the crime.  I have human affections that weigh heavily on wanting justice in Anthony’s case while recognizing I am seeing this situation through the eyes of being a man and not through the lens of God.   I am not that confident that anger and emotion, if put in the eye of the storm, would not have me throwing the proverbial switch?   Much less has driven me over the edge of sanity and beyond God’s intentions.

In today’s world we are all witnesses and participants to death penalty executions.  Some would argue that every execution is an execution of Jesus, of God, of faith?   There is no “blame free zone.”  We support the death penalty or we do not support the death penalty.  As much as I may want to have “a la cart” options – sometimes it just boils down to a straight forward decision:  I am willing to pull the switch or I am not:


Where do you stand?

Consoler or executioner?

Anthony has stood trial and been convicted.  Now, we are on trial as people of God on how we choose to handle the problem of evil.  How will we be judged collectively and individually?   What is the right thing to do with Anthony Shore and the Two thousand, eight hundred and sixteen others on Death row today in the United States alone?


[i] http://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/death_row/dr_info/shoreanthony.html

[ii] http://www.theforgivenessfoundation.org/index.php/scheduled-executions/40-news/general/4323-texas-gives-anthony-shore-execution-date-of-october-18-2017

[iii] https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2017/10/11/pope-francis-death-penalty-contrary-gospel

[iv] http://www.beliefnet.com/prayers/multifaith/death/prayer-for-those-murdered.aspx#UxAosp7VZr8fEZBH.99

[v] https://www.innocenceproject.org/

[vi] https://www.amnesty.org/en/what-we-do/death-penalty/


The Seven Storey Mountain by Thomas Merton

The beginning of a new personal spiritual chapter can bring me anticipatory eagerness and anxiety.  Eagerness to deepen my personal relationship to God, to enrich my faith, and to provide me needed sustenance and perseverance in the face of daily adversities.  Anxiety about the time required, the demands presented, and the worthiness of the venture.

Pope Francis gave a nod to Thomas Merton as he cited Merton as being one of four representatives of the American people to turn to for examples of faith and standing up for social justice, equal rights, liberty, and peace.

By Merton’s account he was no saint or model of purity.   Perhaps that he is why valuable as an example;

‘I came into the world. Free by nature, in the image of God, I was nevertheless the prisoner of my own violence and my own selfishness, in the image of the world into which I was born. That world was the picture of Hell, full of men like myself, loving God, and yet hating him; born to love him, living instead in fear of hopeless self-contradictory hungers.’ [i]

In an instant you can google Merton and find detractors regarding his motivations to enter the religious life (draft dodger) or his human fallibility pre-monastic life or later in life with a woman named Maggie.[ii]  How do we pair the human side of Thomas Merton with the body of work that he left behind after his accidental electrocution in Thailand in 1968? The irony of death paired with this statement in “The Seven Story Mountain” is perhaps co-incidental, yet unnerving:

“That you may become the brother of God and learn to know the Christ of the burnt men.[iii] 

The book has controversy as well regarding attacks that it was highly edited.[iv]   This was also Thomas Merton’s first major work and later in his life he reflected that it would not be the same today if he was to write it again.  How can I not read his later works to see where his spiritual maturity bought him after such an esteemed start?

My read of this classic was easy going.  He tells his early life story and journey with simple language and clarity within the context of a world driven by strife and a world at war (WW II).   Some compare his conversion story to that of St. Augustine.  His use of Dante’s purgatory mountain for his title is telling.  The battle with human affectations (pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, and sloth) is a battle for Monks as well as laymen. The duality of action and contemplation in harmony is mindfully present in this story.


Seeking God for any of these reasons is bound to fail.  The fragility of seeking spiritual perfection is a path of eagerness and anxiety.  The price is high, the path narrow, and time is short (at least for me).

Merton’s introductory work was worth my investment.  There are too many quotes and insights to re-post here.  Hopefully my Merton journey is providential!   Maybe one day I will visit Kentucky.  If you are familiar with the Thomas Merton Society, The Abbey of Gethsemani in Kentucky, or have a favorite Merton work, please comment and give your insights!

[i] http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2015/09/24/443126027/in-pope-francis-congress-speech-praise-for-dorothy-day-and-thomas-merton

[ii] http://www.irishtimes.com/culture/books/thomas-merton-the-hermit-who-never-was-his-young-lover-and-mysterious-death-1.2422818

[iii] Page 462, Seven Storey Mountain

[iv] http://www.nytimes.com/books/98/10/11/bookend/bookend.html

[v] http://www.monks.org/

[vi] http://www.christianhumanist.org/2010/08/dante-2010


Providence, Powerlessness, and Purpose

April 1, 2017

Today I find myself in control of my destiny.  My will and determination is paramount and the world is at my disposal.  If any frustration arises in me at their denseness, I recognize that not all can be blessed with the wisdom that I have attained and patience is the rule of the moment when faced with brothers who remain obstinate to my will and my ideas.  I am kind in all my ways, compassionate when called to be, selfless in all my actions, and next to my fellow-man, as perfected in spiritual attainment as near perfection any human may achieve.  I need not pretend to enunciate how I have achieved this elevation, for to do so, would be contrary to my deep seated humility.  Suffice it to say, I have arrived at my pre-destined place, at one with God’s will, forgiven and renewed in the spirit, never to stray again on the path of un-holiness.   And this I do of my own free will and sheer determination as gifted to me by grace of God.

“In all ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”[i]

Today is April 1, 2017, by some it is called a national holiday for all atheist.  I do not begrudge atheist or humanists that are able without the aid of a higher power to live a life as close to moral perfection as humanely possible.  I am a humanist by nature, a philosopher by spirit, and an amateur theologian by self-appointment.    That is not enough for me to live the life that I believe mankind is destined to pursue.  Left to my own devices and self-deception I will fail to my own subliminal definition of self that although not as grandiose as the first paragraph, nonetheless is elevated above the reality of my actions and in defiance of my inherited and self-created limitations.    The chasm between the two will create a separation between me and my fellow man, between me and my God, that ultimately will bring chaos and failure to fruition if left to my own devises.

In earnest I am speaking about the dynamism of Providence versus Free Will.  We are powerless in the face of forces of nature, manmade circumstances beyond our control, and the limitations within our genetics and psychological make up that provide us certain strengths and limitations.  For us believer’s, we are also aware of a certain sense of pre-determination, which ultimately if some outcome is God’s will it will be done.  In the face of Providence and Powerlessness that is undeniably present in the human condition it could be easy to lose all hope and drive to pursue individual and collective action to fulfill a calling or life purpose.    When confronted with suffering on so many existential levels and deep rooted soul felt pain, it is easy to abandon Providence or Free Will or both.

The reality is today, April 1, 2017, I find myself in doing everything in my power to do God’s will, not mine.  My will and determination is important but only if it is informed and aligned with God’s will.  Patience is the rule of the moment when faced with brothers who remain obstinate to my will and my ideas while allowing for the possibility and in many cases the likelihood, that it is my own obstinacy that creates frustration and disappointment. I strive to be kind in all my ways, compassionate when called to be, and selfless in all my actions – but I am far from spiritual attainment and perfection.  Pride and humility are a constant dance in my head that color my actions in shades of hue that cannot be defined with any self-assurance of accuracy.

In the face of adversity we are called to make informed decisions and act on these decisions with a ferocity and commitment commensurate with the challenge before us.    What challenges are you facing today?  What is God’s will for you with this challenge?  What is your decision?  What actions do you have to take today?  Who can help you validate your thinking and your plan are in-line with your reality or with God’s intentions?

If you are facing a challenge today, may you find the help you need, the resources at hand, a decision to act in accordance with your destiny, and find serenity in your life:


[i] Proverbs 3:6


Pope Francis has taken steps to canonize Fatima Siblings (https://nyti.ms/2mW3nYl) according to New York Times article.  Do you believe in Saints?  The Devil?  The Fatima Siblings had visions and drew thousands of Christians to the Village of Fatima.  There is even a mystery of prophecy by Sister Lucia – the one to escape an untimely death – providing three predictions that many believe came to fruition – one of which may have saved Pope John Paul’s life.  I have sought counsel on modern-day visionaries – and the best advice I got seemed to be focus on Christ – if a message helps me focus more on Christ as a tool, okay, but don’t get lost seeking modern-day miracles – the Miracle was given to us on the Cross.

None the less there remains in Christology messages about the end of times (Eschatology) and the final battle.

Final Battle

Sister Lucia spoke to that as well.  Let’s place the word “Saint” aside.

Have you ever met a person who exudes humility and spirit?  Have you read about great martyrs and sacrifices?

There are heroes among us living their lives so close to the image of God, as imprinted deep within their souls, that we can be rendered speechless by their devotion, steadfastness, and courage.  They are all around us if you look, performing small and large miracles, invisible to the unsuspecting eye, silently passing you on the street, perhaps with a smile or merely a focused precision walk that announces purpose and fiery determination.    They are humans with their heart and soul given fearlessly to be used by their God to heal, to love, to serve others.  Some of them may have been blessed with visions or moments of grace that defy imagination.

I don’t know about prophecies, or mystics, or saints.  What I do know is people among us have the power of the Holy Spirit within their core and are preparing for the final battle now, preparing the  battlefield for us all.

The spiritual imagination and contemplative life can bring you places you never thought possible.

“Catholics are not required to believe in even the most approved and venerated private revelations, but many of us choose to do so. Does this battle relate to the famous discourse Pope Leo XIII was alleged to have heard in a vision between Christ and Satan, which led him to compose the prayer to St. Michael? How long the final battle will last, and what will come after? (http://www.onepeterfive.com/sister-lucia-final-confrontation-between-the-lord-and-satan-will-be-over-family-and-marriage/)”

Thanks for reading my mystical rambling.

A Monk In The World: Cultivating A Spiritual Life by Wayne Teasdale

“The homeless live in virtually every city and town around the globe, representing a sixth of humanity — or about a billion souls.  Like ghost, they haunt the busy thoroughfares of the world.”

If you read nothing else in this post except this quote that is okay.  Please contemplate and pray for these billion souls in whatever spiritual tongue you possess and cherish.


Teasdale doesn’t get to the homeless until chapter six:  “Light in the streets:  The urgent call of the homeless.”  The first five chapters he spends on spirituality, mystical experience, the church, friendship, world order, preciousness of time, sacredness of work, and the value of money.  A decent read on challenges of everyday life to the spiritual life.   But most of us are not called to the monastic life and have to “make due” in an environment that is sometimes outright hostile to your beliefs.

Homelessness is only a small portion of the book that is examining how to live a contemplative and spiritual life amidst the chaos of living in the real world (as opposed to a monastery or a hermit in the desert.  However, the epic issue of homelessness and our aversion to the problem is an epitome of the failure of globalization and extreme capitalism.

Teasdale explains through his own life experience the labor of belief, both vertical and horizontal life challenges, internal and external challenges, mortality, and earthly limitations.  He goes a step further to address the commonalities of religious and the calling to unite ecumenical movements to address poverty in our times.

In the U.S our current administration is focused on recovering a perceived lost edge in the global economy and focus on removing protections that may hinder capitalism’s acceleration while also instituting protectionism for corporations in the U.S, reducing oversight that protects the safety and fair wages of the working class, while targeting immigrants and other countries as villains to support a political message and a rallying call to desperate Americans.   At the same time, the administration itself is at war with the free press and unapologetically creating alternative facts without regard for truth in the slightest.  The irony is the leadership had or has (I don’t know which) the support of bible belt believers, if not,publicly, than secretly.

Nowhere in our administration’s current platform is a call for social justice, a call to help the poor of this nation and/or other nations, responsible stewardship of the planet, and other callings that Christians worldwide, including the Pope of the Catholic church, hold as core values.  Instead we have a militant and protectionist mantra of “America First.” And a minority of the population is okay with the absence of compassion and outright villainizing of anything or anyone that opposes the administration’s viewpoint.  I do not know how this adheres to our Christian heritage in the manner in which America’s voice is being heard today in the world.  Our current political establishment is putting profits of the super elite above community and pitting the community against each other internally and externally through inflammatory language and almost messianic message about doom and gloom.

It is and has been my life’s calling to work with the impoverished and under-represented “sentient beings.”  I use this phrase to bring to life that the poor, the disenfranchised, the homeless, the immigrants, the LGBTQ individuals are not labels but real, spiritual beings with a consciousness and share of our collective resources and our God.

It is possible to be this horrific in the political sphere when the public is distanced from spiritual grounding and meaningful caring of thy neighbor and all sentient beings regardless of race, color, creed, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, or nationality.

If our nation was as spiritual and committed to Christianity as many report – our politicians would not have the license they do today to lie outright time and time again without repercussion.

The book aptly ducks the big questions and focuses on individual tools and pray for cultivating the spirit in the face of such adversity and calls on religious institutions to show more courage in standing up for moral convictions.  The church has failed in this area before — in Germany and in other places and times.  I pray we do not fail again.

The immensity of the issues often give way to powerlessness and despair for believers. That is why an interior pray life and mindfully living in a spiritual manner is so critical for believers today now more than ever.

One believer at a time.  

One good deed at a time.  

One letter of advocacy.  

One voice in the crowd.

You decide where you can make a difference.

 “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

Book Review:  7 of 10 (not one of my favorites but a decent read)